Drunken PhD Carrot Cake

This recipe is based largely on a Martha Stewart recipe -- although she's been increasing Prozac sales among the stay-at-home mom set for decades, occasionally she produces a delicious, fairly simple straightforward recipe and this is one.  These are my adaptations - and I hope you enjoy.  Also for those of you perusing the "inter-net" looking for a delightful boozy carrot cake recipe -- perhaps more of a holiday pudding style -- this unfortunately is not it -- drunken refers to the state of the baker and not the actual cake I'm afraid.

1. Go grocery shopping - when challenged by a large bulk assemblage of scrumptious looking loose carrots use the scale to weigh out a pound - when you reach precisely one pound yell out "I'm a genius", the louder the better!

2. Go out drinking.  The amount of booze you will need to consume is likely directly proportional to the number of years you've been in graduate school.  We recommend at least one drink per year.  It should take you three minutes to figure out how to open your front door.  Drink until last call.  Make sure you don't go to bed until 3AM - you may need a final cocktail just prior to calling it a night.

3. Before passing out - take the cream cheese and butter out of the fridge and place your alarm clock set for 6AM on the cream cheese.  If you cannot hear your alarm clock from your bedroom you are likely not a graduate student... you may choose to get creative and place several alarm clocks leading from your bedroom to the kitchen.

4. When the alarm rings, blurry thoughts of wtf will result - head to the kitchen - be confused by the pile of butter and cream cheese, then remember the carrot cake you promised to bring to the PhD defense party this afternoon and get going.

5. Grate your precisely weighed pound of carrots into a large bowl.  You should lack the dexterity to ensure that all the carrots end up in the bowl - grated carrot may or may not end up both in your toaster and under your kitchen floor mat.  Give up before all the carrots are grated - because it looks like a friggin' tone of carrots by this point.

6. Sift 2 1/2 cups flour with 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 3/4 teaspoon salt, pinch of nutmeg.

7. Cream 3 sticks of butter with 1 cup loosely packed brown sugar and 1/2 cup granulated sugar.  Add 3 eggs, one at a time, beating well between each addition.  Add 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract, 1 tablespoon of grated fresh ginger, juice of 1/2 a lemon and grated carrots.  Mix well to combine.  

8. Add flour mixture, and 1 cup toasted chopped pecans to carrots.

9. Pour batter into 2 9-inch cake pans lined with parchment paper and buttered.  Bake cakes for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.  Cool cakes on a wire wrack.

10. Make icing -- cream together 1 pound cream cheese with 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract, 1 cup of unsalted butter, zest from lemon and 2 cups of confectioners' sugar

11.  Ice cake with delicious cream cheese frosting.  This can be done later in the day, after listening to the PhD defense talk and driving to the middle of absolutely nowhere to buy the most delectable pita bread in the Greater Toronto Area.  A word of caution: in your 40% drunk/ 60% hungover state, this will prove to be the most difficult part - especially if the icing is prepared in advance and refrigerated.  Remember, cold icing is unyielding and does not like to be spread on moist, delicious cakes.  Your  Apiphobic bestie will now be watching and laughing hysterically as you smear icing haphazardly on the sides of your drunken masterpiece.  But do your best to spread it evenly between the layers and on the sides and top of the cake.  

12. Top cake with toasted halved pecans and enjoy!  Probably best to eat with a glass of champagne to help even out the now wicked hangover!