I had every intention (I swear) of publishing weekly updates about my ASL-learning progress. And while I am learning tons, not every week generates project hilarious-worthy material. Until this week that is...
I am taking the class with my sister and her bf and my mother. My mother is a special woman. Not only is she the original president of her own fan club, she is downright hilarious. With that disclaimer, I can proceed with the story.
Unit 5 is about families. We are learning how to sign family member titles and how to ask details about ones family/personal life. Questions like: Are you married? How many children do you have? Where do you live? Who do you live with? And so on. Like all good teachers, ours encourages participation so it came as no surprise when Lisa (our teacher) volun-told my mom to demonstrate in front of the class her progress and describe what her family life is like.
Here is how this conversation went (all in ASL of course):
Lisa: You live where?
Mom: I live in Thornhill.
Lisa: Do you live in a house or an apartment?
Mom: I live in a condo.
Lisa: You live with who?
Mom: I live with...
She cupped her right hand on top of her left hand and then reversed the position of both hands. This was repeated several times.
Lisa: What? Again please.
Mom: I live with.... (and the sign was repeated)
Lisa: Are you sure?
Mom: Yes.
Lisa walked to the white board and wrote down what the cupped hands sign means. This word appeared: HAMBURGER.
Lisa: You live with a hamburger?
Mom: Shit, what is the sign for husband?
Lisa then demonstrated the sign for husband and my mom sat back down.
Friday 1 June 2012
Monday 23 April 2012
ASL: Part 2 of ...
Recap of class #2:
I have a pickle with the ASL sign for orange. It is just plain weird. I now know the sign for weird.
Wednesday 18 April 2012
ASL: Part 1 of...
I, one half of project hilarious (but NOT chief-in-charge of twits), have recently enrolled in an American Sign Language course (ASL) with the goal of hopefully being able to communicate with my potential future brother-in-law. And while I am optimistic that some form of communication will soon be possible, I am starting to believe that my inner hilarity will trump any true progress. There are two main reasons for my hesitation in stating firmly that 'I WILL' have a relatively mature banter with this gent at some point in the near future. For starters, after 3 hrs of teachings, the only question I can ask him accurately is "You were born where?" And yes, this is obviously an important piece of information to know about someone, however, it really can only be asked at most, three times. And that is being totally generous!
The second reason, and the inspiration behind the hopefully much-anticipated newest post, is that I managed to trigger a heated debate about congruent triangles. This, I believe, is worthy of a project hilarious post and a new mini series titled ASL.
Look at the image below. Are these triangles the same or different? If you said different, then you are in serious need of a geometry refresher course. If you said the same, Mazel Tov! You understand the concept of congruency. Well done!
So the heated debate came in class when the teacher drew these triangles on the white board and asked us to sign if they were the same or different. I signed the same. Because they are. The teacher, on the other hand, disagreed and said they were different. This banter went on for about 5 minutes. What made it hilarious was that this was my first sign language class. Actually, this took place within the first 20 minutes of my first sign language class. Furthermore, I am NOT proficient in ASL, hence the only question I can ask my potential future brother-in-law is "You were born where?". So this fight between my deaf teacher who is fluent in American Sign Language, Australian Sign Language, and Japanese Sign Language and myself, who is of the hearing variety was, well, let's just say, impeded.
The second reason, and the inspiration behind the hopefully much-anticipated newest post, is that I managed to trigger a heated debate about congruent triangles. This, I believe, is worthy of a project hilarious post and a new mini series titled ASL.
Look at the image below. Are these triangles the same or different? If you said different, then you are in serious need of a geometry refresher course. If you said the same, Mazel Tov! You understand the concept of congruency. Well done!
So the heated debate came in class when the teacher drew these triangles on the white board and asked us to sign if they were the same or different. I signed the same. Because they are. The teacher, on the other hand, disagreed and said they were different. This banter went on for about 5 minutes. What made it hilarious was that this was my first sign language class. Actually, this took place within the first 20 minutes of my first sign language class. Furthermore, I am NOT proficient in ASL, hence the only question I can ask my potential future brother-in-law is "You were born where?". So this fight between my deaf teacher who is fluent in American Sign Language, Australian Sign Language, and Japanese Sign Language and myself, who is of the hearing variety was, well, let's just say, impeded.
Tuesday 14 February 2012
The truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me project hilarious
Admitting this is much like the break in character that we featured on twitter when Steven Colbert couldn’t stop laughing at his own joke. We feel compelled, probably because of the upcoming V-day bonanza that takes place every February 14th, to share the real story behind the conception of project hilarious. It’s a sad yet romantic story – much like a Woody Allen movie – full of awkwardness, hilarity, romance, and an adequate dose of neurotic nervous energy. But more like a typical Hollywood Rom-Com, our story has a very happy, almost fairy tale-like ending.
Project hilarious was honestly and truly born out of grief. We are two lab mates who until recently had nothing in common or any real friendship. We were both were suffering tremendously because of the demise and failure of our respective long-term relationships. Because of this pain, we were instantly drawn to one another and found a great friendship. It started out with excessive drinking, dancing on bars, out until the wee hours on a Wednesday night, cute boys buying us drinks – hey, we are hot, smart and super fun, newly single ladies after all! We leaned on each other, provided a shoulder to cry on, a smiling face, and a person to turn to when some perspective or declaration about f-that-bastard was required. And slowly but ever so surely, laughter replaced the sorrow. The isolation, the loneliness, the insecurities, the feelings of smallness and sadness and failure, all gone. The quiet secret tears shared over coffee evolved into peals and reams of laughter. The refrain “You’re hilarious – yes, I’m hilarious” replaced “do you need a hug, or better yet, a French 75?”
So, on this Valentine’s Day, we find ourselves in totally new and refreshing places in our lives; one half of project hilarious has spiralled into the depths of new love and the other (down boys, especially hot European boys with useful bodies) is in a wonderful place. We’ve come to understand, at least in hindsight, our previous pain was a stepping stone to the path of present happiness, laughter and love. We are reminded of the fact that the real hero on Valentine’s Day is love of all kinds. Friendship, familial, romantic – any and all love brings joy, brings laughter and brings happiness.
What do we have now? Well, we have new best friends because of breakups and sorrow. We have a worldwide geopolitical movement (project hilarious) that we created out of fear, insecurity, and misery. And if we say so ourselves, it’s pretty awesome. Let us be perfectly clear. Our goal isn't to achieve the poetic prose of Sylvia Plath, James Joyce or The Bard. And we do not anticipate being as ridiculously hilarious as Sarah Silverman, Ricky Gervais, Rick Santorum, or Paula Poundston. But we will continue to enjoy project hilarious and we hope you do too!
Feel the love – feed the hilarity – it’s there, we know it, belly-deep laughter and all. If you feel like it is hiding French 75s are excellent seekers.
Hide-and-seek anyone?
Wednesday 8 February 2012
In anticipation of Saint Valentine's Day
This is part of a conversation that one half of Project Hilarious recently had with a friend.
AF: anonymous friend
PH: project hilarious
AF: An ex girlfriend said to me when I broke up with her: "I thought we would be together forever."
PH: I am so sorry, but nothing is forever. What did she mean by forever anyways? Death or disaster. That is the fate of every relationship.
AF: Hahaha. Yes, death. But death could be caused by a disaster. Right?
PH: Of course.
AF: Or death could imply forever bounded by human limits.
PH: Yes. Exactly. "I thought we would be together until we reach the boundary of human limits". That does not sound terribly romantic.
AF: But death or disaster is romantic?
PH: It sure is! But, OK. I can appreciate the use of 'forever', despite still believing in death or disaster.
AF: Fair enough...
Both halves of project hilarious are firm believers in love, all kinds of love. Whether it be romantic love, erotic love, puppy love, and even platonic and familial love. You name it, we believe in it. That being said, project hilarious, despite existing with our heads firmly planted in la-la land, are realists. Therefore, our motto when it comes to love is 'death or disaster'. Death or disaster is how all relationships must end.
We think this is particularly uplifting.
On behalf of Project Hilarious, Happy Valentine's Day!
AF: anonymous friend
PH: project hilarious
AF: An ex girlfriend said to me when I broke up with her: "I thought we would be together forever."
PH: I am so sorry, but nothing is forever. What did she mean by forever anyways? Death or disaster. That is the fate of every relationship.
AF: Hahaha. Yes, death. But death could be caused by a disaster. Right?
PH: Of course.
AF: Or death could imply forever bounded by human limits.
PH: Yes. Exactly. "I thought we would be together until we reach the boundary of human limits". That does not sound terribly romantic.
AF: But death or disaster is romantic?
PH: It sure is! But, OK. I can appreciate the use of 'forever', despite still believing in death or disaster.
AF: Fair enough...
Both halves of project hilarious are firm believers in love, all kinds of love. Whether it be romantic love, erotic love, puppy love, and even platonic and familial love. You name it, we believe in it. That being said, project hilarious, despite existing with our heads firmly planted in la-la land, are realists. Therefore, our motto when it comes to love is 'death or disaster'. Death or disaster is how all relationships must end.
We think this is particularly uplifting.
On behalf of Project Hilarious, Happy Valentine's Day!
Monday 9 January 2012
International hilarity, that's right!
As we recently celebrated the end of 2011 (the year of our creation), we thought we would share the progress of project hilarious with our international audience. Yes, you read that correctly folks, our INTERNATIONAL audience. As predicted, the world-wide craze of international hilarity is fast approaching.
Clap, clap, cheer, cheer. Throw in a couple of hurrays for good luck!
Please, please, please send us your profiles. We know that many, if not most of you, are hilarious in some way or another. Send them to us at projecthilarious@gmail.com. We wear our T-shirts proudly. You could too!
Most importantly, we would like to thank all our visitors. We encourage comments and feedback, however, silent stalkers are most welcome as well.
Happy New Year. We are so looking forward to 2012!!!
Clap, clap, cheer, cheer. Throw in a couple of hurrays for good luck!
Our audience now includes:
Canada
United States
Russia
Germany
United Kingdom
Israel
United Arab Emerates
Australia
France
Philippines
Taiwan
And, for those of you that are curious, the three most popular posts are:
JDate: Part 5 out of 5
Drunken PhD Carrot Cake
ugi from toronto
Please, please, please send us your profiles. We know that many, if not most of you, are hilarious in some way or another. Send them to us at projecthilarious@gmail.com. We wear our T-shirts proudly. You could too!
Most importantly, we would like to thank all our visitors. We encourage comments and feedback, however, silent stalkers are most welcome as well.
Happy New Year. We are so looking forward to 2012!!!
Monday 19 December 2011
Drunken Holiday Cake
This recipe, unlike the drunken carrot cake, actually involves a drunk cake, rather than a drunk baker. In fact, the cake ends up so drunk, it would definitely get pulled over by the R.I.D.E. program (if it could drive of course). This is an adaptation of my great grandmother's recipe. The original recipe called for 10 cents worth of nuts - needless to say I had to update the recipe. Despite the mild adaptations and interpretations, the cake is delicious.
1. Free yourself of the stigma that holiday fruit cakes are boring and will be received with polite compliments, only to be battered and bashed behind your back. Without nasty and artificial candied fruits, these cakes can be, and ARE delicious.
2. Defend a Ph.D. Oddly, this will inspire your father to purchase an exorbitant amount of delicious and expensive dried cherries and blueberries. If defending a thesis is unrealistic, you will, unfortunately, have to spring for this expense yourself.
3. Resist eating the delicious dried fruits. This will surely test your resolve. But remember, you can do it. We at Project Hilarious have the utmost faith in you.
4. Soak 1 cup of dried cherries, 1 cup of dried blueberries, 1 cup of currant, 2 cups of raisins, and 1 cup of chopped dates in 1 cup of brandy overnight. Then, due to the overwhelming exhaustion from the post defense adrenaline-drain and the subsequent hangovers from the defense parties, allow the fruit to soak for an additional day.
5. Add the zest of 2 oranges and 2 cups of slivered almonds to the soaked fruit.
6. Cream slightly more than 1 cup of butter with 2 cups of demerara sugar. Beat in 4 eggs until well combined. Sift 3 cups of flour with 2 tsp of baking powder, 1/2 tsp of salt, 2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp of cloves, and 2 tsp all-spice. Mix. Combine juice from 2 oranges with maple syrup to a final volume of 1-1/2 cups. Alternate adding the flour mixture with the juice mixture until it is all incorporated. Add 1 cup of flour to the soaked fruit mixture and add it to the batter. Pour into two buttered and parchment-lined loaf pans.
7. Bake in a low over, 275 degrees, for awhile. Fall asleep while the cakes bake due to the continued and absolutely wretched exhaustion you are still experiencing from the post defense craziness. Wake up to the sweet smell of spicy holiday goodness. Remove the cakes from the oven. A toothpick inserted at this time should come out clean. A guestimation of elapsed time is approximately 2-1/2 hours.
8. Add several tablespoons of brandy to each cake after about an hour out of the oven and resting on a cooling rack. Wrap in parchment paper or cheese cloth, and then foil and store in a tin container. Every week drench the cakes in brandy until eaten. This recipe is thus best made 1-2 months prior to consumption. The result is drunken, drunken, delicious, boozy fruit goodness.
9. A day or two before serving, get your Martha on! Seriously people, this is the time to channel your inner hate-it-that-you-care-about-cake-decorating and go for the gold! Coat cakes (they can be split into make more cakes if desired) in marzipan. And then, drape in fondant icing. Go nuts with the food coloring and flower decorating. Poinsettias are an excellent suggestion. Do not go with an identifiable and rigorously defined Euphorbia pulcherrima, yuck! Indulge...drink first (may we recommend a French 75 or possibly some delightful mulled wine courtesy of Jamie Oliver). Of course, after a few, you will be less judgy of your culinary creation.
10. Enjoy the kitschy holiday tradition of fruit cake - this year in brandy blurry style. We are Project Hilarious highly recommend it!
1. Free yourself of the stigma that holiday fruit cakes are boring and will be received with polite compliments, only to be battered and bashed behind your back. Without nasty and artificial candied fruits, these cakes can be, and ARE delicious.
2. Defend a Ph.D. Oddly, this will inspire your father to purchase an exorbitant amount of delicious and expensive dried cherries and blueberries. If defending a thesis is unrealistic, you will, unfortunately, have to spring for this expense yourself.
3. Resist eating the delicious dried fruits. This will surely test your resolve. But remember, you can do it. We at Project Hilarious have the utmost faith in you.
4. Soak 1 cup of dried cherries, 1 cup of dried blueberries, 1 cup of currant, 2 cups of raisins, and 1 cup of chopped dates in 1 cup of brandy overnight. Then, due to the overwhelming exhaustion from the post defense adrenaline-drain and the subsequent hangovers from the defense parties, allow the fruit to soak for an additional day.
5. Add the zest of 2 oranges and 2 cups of slivered almonds to the soaked fruit.
6. Cream slightly more than 1 cup of butter with 2 cups of demerara sugar. Beat in 4 eggs until well combined. Sift 3 cups of flour with 2 tsp of baking powder, 1/2 tsp of salt, 2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp of cloves, and 2 tsp all-spice. Mix. Combine juice from 2 oranges with maple syrup to a final volume of 1-1/2 cups. Alternate adding the flour mixture with the juice mixture until it is all incorporated. Add 1 cup of flour to the soaked fruit mixture and add it to the batter. Pour into two buttered and parchment-lined loaf pans.
7. Bake in a low over, 275 degrees, for awhile. Fall asleep while the cakes bake due to the continued and absolutely wretched exhaustion you are still experiencing from the post defense craziness. Wake up to the sweet smell of spicy holiday goodness. Remove the cakes from the oven. A toothpick inserted at this time should come out clean. A guestimation of elapsed time is approximately 2-1/2 hours.
8. Add several tablespoons of brandy to each cake after about an hour out of the oven and resting on a cooling rack. Wrap in parchment paper or cheese cloth, and then foil and store in a tin container. Every week drench the cakes in brandy until eaten. This recipe is thus best made 1-2 months prior to consumption. The result is drunken, drunken, delicious, boozy fruit goodness.
9. A day or two before serving, get your Martha on! Seriously people, this is the time to channel your inner hate-it-that-you-care-about-cake-decorating and go for the gold! Coat cakes (they can be split into make more cakes if desired) in marzipan. And then, drape in fondant icing. Go nuts with the food coloring and flower decorating. Poinsettias are an excellent suggestion. Do not go with an identifiable and rigorously defined Euphorbia pulcherrima, yuck! Indulge...drink first (may we recommend a French 75 or possibly some delightful mulled wine courtesy of Jamie Oliver). Of course, after a few, you will be less judgy of your culinary creation.
10. Enjoy the kitschy holiday tradition of fruit cake - this year in brandy blurry style. We are Project Hilarious highly recommend it!
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