ugi from toronto

why is ugi hilarious? 

ugi thinks it's funny that the greek PM announced a referendum and then took it back 2 days later.  he can't conceive that governments of the world will blatenly tell their stupid subjects that their opinions mean nothing, yet at the same time tell them they are fighting for "democracy" elsewhere!  to rationalize the insanity, ugi assumes that 95% of the people in the world are stupid.  then, and only then, does the shit that goes on in the world make sense (well, sort of).  this is hilarious. 

ugi thinks that babies that talk are hilarious.

ugi cruises around our wonderful city on a super sexy bike.  once he hit a raccoon while riding home in the middle of the night.  apparently hoping the fucker was dead was more important than bracing for the inevitable fall and subsequent wounds.  despite the mild injuries, this was hilarious.  

for halloween ugi dressed up as edward scissorhands.  since he hadn't seen the movie for a while and failed to consult any photos to remind myself what the bastard looked like, he accidentally made an edward scissorarms costume.  that's hilarious. 

ugi gets a kick out of awkward elevator rides at the workplace.  not only does he love watching others squirm at the painful uncomfortableness of the situation, he thinks their retarded small talk is fuckin' hilarious.  ugi cracking up in the elevator is hilarious.

ugi proudly sports the project hilarious t-shirt.

ugi from toronto IS hilarious!

bubby sylvia from toronto

sylvia from toronto

sylvia from toronto is commonly known as bubby sylvia.  for those unfamiliar with the word "bubby", it is yiddish for grandmother.  bubby sylvia is one of 9 children, has two daughters, 7 granddaughters, and 3 great-grandchildren.  she was born and raised in toronto and recently celebrated her 90th birthday 

bubby sylvia is hilarious.  she is her own biggest fan when it comes to her baking.  a meal does not go by without her disclaimer: if i say so myself, this came out really good today.  she also loves ice cream and chinese food, but will never admit to it.  every time she eats either of them,  she becomes pleasantly surprised by how much she is actually enjoying it.  again, the experience is followed by a disclaimer: i can't remember the last time i ate this (ice cream or chinese)  (FYI, you ate ice cream and/or chinese food at the last family birthday dinner.  and yes, you were there)

this is one of our favorite bubby sylvia stories.  once, robyn, darcy, and hailey (three hilarious granddaughters) took bubby sylvia out for dinner.  as they were leaving, three young women tried to walk into the restaurant.  she would not be pushed aside by anyone!  so, in true bubby sylvia form, she proceeded to push them aside, walk through the door, and declare "age before beauty!" it was hilarious. 

this next story is both hilarious and absolutely horrifying.  one of bubby sylvia's rituals involved the bagel plus.  the parking lot is totally insane and some spots are at a slight incline (emphasis on the word slight).  you can imagine the sheer panic that we, her family, felt upon hearing that she was involved in a car accident.  actually, she was run over by a car.  but not just any car, she was run over by her own car that she was driving! (scratch head here)  this is what happened, so we've been told:

• bubby sylvia pulls into slightly inclined parking spot at the bagel plus
• bubby sylvia opens door and steps out of car
• car starts rolling
• bubby sylvia realizes that car is not in park
• bubby sylvia tries to dive into the car to stop it from colliding with other vehicles
• alert! alert! dive failure! dive failure!
  
• bubby sylvia falls out of car
• front driver-side wheel of car rolls over her legs
• bubby sylvia now has some nasty bruises and tire marks on her pants
  

thankfully bubby sylvia was fine.  bubby sylvia (who does not drive anymore), is hilarious.

this last story speaks to the importance of politics in our family.  it is not anything we are proud of, simply the truth.  bubby sylvia now lives in a retirement home.  prime minister stephen harper made a stop at her retirement home as part of his campaign tour during the last federal election.  he was scheduled for a 'meet-and-greet' on a friday morning.  we were all excited for bubby sylvia.  it is not everyday the media and the pm stop by for a chat.  so, we asked bubby sylvia if she met him, what he was like, did anyone ask him any interesting/thought provoking questions.  here is how that conversation went:

family: hey bubby, how was it when the prime minister came?

bubby: how am i supposed to know?

family: didn't you go?  are you feeling well?

bubby: no i didn't go, why would I?

family:  this opportunity does not present itself on a regular basis

bubby: you are crazy.  i could never have gone.

family: why not, aren't you interested in politics?

bubby: it was a friday.

family: politics don't interest you on fridays?

bubby: i had to get my hair done.

family: so, you went to the hair dresser instead of meeting the prime minister?

bubby: of course.  you would do the same.

in summary, her standing appointment at the hair dresser trumps everything. 

because of these and countless other stories, bubby sylvia gets an i'm hilarious t-shirt.  unfortunately, she won't wear it because it does not come as a sweater set.  nevertheless, we want her to have one. 

bubby sylvia from toronto IS hilarious! 

lindsy from toronto

lindsy is a perpetual-random-encounter-interaction machine.  we think she needs her own patent.

for instance,  once when telling an absolutely hilarious story to a friend, she inadvertently saluted a random stranger and declared her undying love for him.  he, along with her other victims, now wait patiently in the foyer of her work place hoping she'll remember that she loves them.  this is hilarious.

lindsy works in a nerd-a-torium.  think big bang theory, but remember that there are hundreds of them, not just four.  she is a stylish dresser and a self proclaimed hosiery aficionado.  she finds it imperative to wear loud mustard yellow tights or fuchsia pink dresses to the lab.  this disturbs the nerds and makes hyper-intelligent professors uncomfortable.  this is hilarious!

lindsy is obsessed with chef rob rossi.  she thinks he's smokin'.  we agree.  this is not hilarious.  however she talks about her obsession with chef rob rossi so often that the coffee barista at mercatto actually had a text sent to lindsy to let her know that "chef was in".  that's hilarious!

lindsy thinks that project hilarious is hilarious, pure and simple, and will result in a world-wide craze of hilarity and awesome t-shirts.  we think she's right!

lindsy from toronto IS hilarious!

eden from toronto

eden laughs loudly at all her own jokes. she is a master random-sentence generator and is notorious for impulsively blurting out outrageous and often embarrassing non sequiturs.

here are two examples of eden at her best.  at an international science meeting, she congratulated a world famous scientist on discovering the salt bridge - snarkily implying that his findings are anything but interesting since the salt bridge is discussed in detail in every ninth-grade textbook.  hilarious.  at the same meeting, she approached a super sexy  rock star scientist holding three fingers from her right hand over her left shoulder - boldly indicating in the most urban way possible that he should order some wine.  this is hilarious.

eden takes questionable fashion risks.  she owns and still dons a hat that is appropriately measured in meters.  it's made of pink crepe and is covered in pink silk flowers.  she thinks it works best with jeans, flip flops, and a shiny brown tank top-cardigan set.  she wore it to the lab one day in an attempt to shield herself from the evil golden orb (most commonly referred to as the sun).  she looked absolutely ridiculous.  it was hilarious.

eden is rightfully infatuated with chef jamie oliver.  she thinks he's sexy.  his sexiness is not because he is a celebrity, or has a british accent, or is a world-class chef. it also has nothing to do with his ongoing battle to conquer childhood obesity. oh no. she thinks he's sexy because one of his incisor teeth sticks out a bit and prevents his lips from completely shutting when he smiles.  that's hilarious!

eden thinks that project hilarious is a geo-political movement that will change the world one hilarious person at a time.   we think she's right!

eden from toronto IS hilarious!